Lost Again | ilikeitraw's Blog

Well, I was feeling pretty damn good for a while, there. However, at the present moment, I'm not super elated. Not even a little, really. It seems as though I'm spinning my wheels again. The business situation seemed to have good potential, but it's kind of falling by the way-side. It's a little too far off for me to feel like it will actually happen. I'm just absolutely hating everyday of work, and it's eating at me again. I just want OUT. I wish I could expedite the process somehow, or at least see the vague road-map of where we're headed.

I'm also letting myself get lost in my thoughts again. Badly. I'm not sure why I can't stop. I don't know why it feels like I'm resolving anything or gaining a greater understanding by sitting there running imaginary dialogues in my mind. I dunno. Maybe I'll get back into meditating again... Grr, every train I hop on, I seem to fall off of rather quickly. ::sigh:: I frustrate myself. At least I've been able to keep working out somewhat regularly. Which is definitely an improvement from not doing it at all. Need to find the vegan station again, too...

Hm, I'm not sure if my diet could be making me feel shitty and think shitty thoughts about my life, or if my life really is just incredibly shitty.

I am just clueless as to where I actually am right now. I feel like giving up. To be completely honest, I don't feel important to anyone, really--not even myself. Which might be why I carry on imaginary dialogues, so I can pretend that I am important and interesting. Unfortunately, reality doesn't mirror my imagination. I don't know how to make positive changes in this area, and, frankly, I don't know that it's even possible. Which is a somewhat disturbing thought. Well, whatever...

It is what it is

Live and Let Live

Love & Peace