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Lost Again | ilikeitraw's Blog


Well, I was feeling pretty damn good for a while, there. However, at the present moment, I'm not super elated. Not even a little, really. It seems as though I'm spinning my wheels again. The business situation seemed to have good potential, but it's kind of falling by the way-side. It's a little too far off for me to feel like it will actually happen. I'm just absolutely hating everyday of work, and it's eating at me again. I just want OUT. I wish I could expedite the process somehow, or at least see the vague road-map of where we're headed.

I'm also letting myself get lost in my thoughts again. Badly. I'm not sure why I can't stop. I don't know why it feels like I'm resolving anything or gaining a greater understanding by sitting there running imaginary dialogues in my mind. I dunno. Maybe I'll get back into meditating again... Grr, every train I hop on, I seem to fall off of rather quickly. ::sigh:: I frustrate myself. At least I've been able to keep working out somewhat regularly. Which is definitely an improvement from not doing it at all. Need to find the vegan station again, too...

Hm, I'm not sure if my diet could be making me feel shitty and think shitty thoughts about my life, or if my life really is just incredibly shitty.

I am just clueless as to where I actually am right now. I feel like giving up. To be completely honest, I don't feel important to anyone, really--not even myself. Which might be why I carry on imaginary dialogues, so I can pretend that I am important and interesting. Unfortunately, reality doesn't mirror my imagination. I don't know how to make positive changes in this area, and, frankly, I don't know that it's even possible. Which is a somewhat disturbing thought. Well, whatever...

It is what it is

Live and Let Live

Love & Peace

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Previous Posts
Damn Not Given, posted May 17th, 2013
Into the Abyss, posted May 3rd, 2013
Final Countdown, posted March 29th, 2013
Ctrl, posted March 1st, 2013
Something, posted February 21st, 2013
Hmph, posted February 8th, 2013
Letting Go, posted January 29th, 2013
Transitions, posted January 17th, 2013
It's Been a Little While, posted January 9th, 2013
Lost Again, posted December 19th, 2012
Improving, posted November 28th, 2012
Stagnant, posted November 6th, 2012
Two Steps Back, posted October 15th, 2012
Baby Steps, posted October 2nd, 2012
Meh, posted September 27th, 2012
Same ol', same ol', posted September 5th, 2012
Just Another Day, posted August 27th, 2012
Ugh, posted August 15th, 2012
'Tis Life, posted August 2nd, 2012
Unsettled; To Say the Least, posted July 23rd, 2012
Back so Soon, posted July 10th, 2012
New Post, posted July 9th, 2012
Day After Sunday, posted July 2nd, 2012
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