Transitions | ilikeitraw's Blog

Well, I've finally accepted that the missing link, and possibly entire foundation, for building my road to happiness is in what I eat. I've been putting it off for so long now, and trying to do everything BUT change my diet, that my unmet nutritional needs have become overwhelmingly obvious. It seems that when I eat living foods that I feel better physically, as well as mentally, and even spiritually. I understand that this idea is strange to most people; it was strange to me as well. The impact of eating living foods is so incredibly strong and so amazing that I can't begin the describe the experience. I kept telling myself that it was too inconvenient, expensive, or whatever, but that is clearly not the reality of the situation. It's actually more convenient, and once you have the supplies (ie dehydrator, juicer, blend-tech or vitamix etc) it's not more expensive. I'm thinking that once I've been doing this for a week or more, then I'll really notice a difference, and I'll share that here. It seems that this change in diet will help everything else fall into place: I'll have more energy and motivation to exercise in order to burn that energy, and I'll be more clear-headed and able to figure out what I really want in life, and how to get there. I finally have comrade on board, which makes this seem like it will actually take-off this time. I'm pretty excited.

I just can't get Brian Warner out of my fucking head. I don't REALLY know why, either. I mean, I haven't met the guy or anything, I don't REALLY know him, but I can't get rid of the dude. At this point, I just want to get him out of my thoughts. He's taking up so much of my time that it's becoming ridiculous--and possibly unhealthy... I've been meditating daily now, improving my focus little by little, but I just can't shake him yet. I don't see me ever even having the chance to really meet him, so I don't know why I waste my time imagining conversations with him. Every. Single. Day. When I wake up, when I'm working, when I get home, when I'm going to sleep: he's there. Well, not even him, but a shadow of his essence. How much longer am I going to be stranded in this sea of thoughts??? I kind of wonder if I'm drawn to him in a kindred spirit sort of way, or if I'm just creepy and obsessive... Either way, he's driving me mad. I wish I knew what it would take to make it stop. Just. Stop.

Sooo the neighbor that my cat attacked, the one with the black cat with the same name as my cat, that's my age, goes to the school I went to, and is studying what I studied, is now going to be female as well...  THAT was unexpected. Haha, so I told Mr T&S that if his relationship goes south, that my neighbor will be 'transitioning' to a woman this year. Maybe I should mention that he had an experience with a tranny once that he was pretty upset about. sHe didn't tell him that sHe used to be a man, and his friends are pretty sure he got head from HEr. Needless to say, it has previously been a sore subject for Mr T&S. He didn't respond, of course, but I'm still laughing.

I'm hoping that putting my thoughts here will help me let go of them... ::sigh:: Life's hard.


Love & Peace